flicksthatmakemesick is celebrating its 10th anniversary! Launched in 2011, we’ve had one whole decade of googling synonyms for vomit and using nausea as a verb. This site has had more comebacks than the Mexican food I had for lunch yesterday, as whole years went by with no one remembering it existed.
Happily, the bad habit of using hand-held cameras has waned; the peak seemed to be in 2013, the year that brought us Captain Phillips and Gravity, both Four Barf Baggers (our highest rating!). But what is a balm to our tummies is death to a website that depends on queasiness for its existence. We must face the truth that the Shaky Cam Era is over, and gratefully put down our Pepto Bismol.
But WAIT! This is the internet, and like the Meta-verse we all hate but still inhabit, we can be reborn with a different label even though we are the exact same thing! Since we no longer need to use our empty popcorn buckets as potential puke receptacles, we will now put different categories in them.
FlicksIWatchedOnNetflix—as we all hesitantly try to slide back into movie theaters, we continue to watch a lot of first run movies on TV. This category is very broad but does not include reviews of The Great British Baking Show, even thought that is what I mostly watch on Netflix.
FlicksThatYouShouldPick—this label is reserved for my very favorite movies. Some reviews may fit into more than one category, such as a favorite that may have been seen on Netflix, or possibly have Richard Gere in it, or is maybe porn.
FlicksWithGuysNamedRick—a limited category, because there are not a lot of actors named Rick these days (see above).
FlicksThatHaveADick —could be a movie that is incredibly misogynistic; or is maybe porn.
FlicksIWantToLick—a sub-category that is totally random depending upon whether or not it has someone I find hot in it. This does not affect the quality of the film and is an editorial choice that may apply only to me. YMMV.
The Barf Bag Rating System has been put in storage, waiting for the day that Paul Greengrass decides to go back to his old habits. Let us hope the bags were washed out very well before they were put away.
The new ranking system will feature The Popcorn Kernels of Truth: One Kernel means you may as well watch The Great British Baking Show because this movie is not worth your time. Two Kernels indicates the film was moderately entertaining; Three Kernels means this movie was pretty great; and an actual piece of One Perfect Popped Corn means you should drop everything because this film will change your life.
Coming up: tick, tick . . . BOOM! This shown-in-theaters-but-also-streaming film fits into THREE categories. Can you guess which ones?
One thought on “What’s Passed is Past — Hurl No More!”
Hey, come back!